We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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