He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
