Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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