I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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