You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
