Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
