We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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