dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
