so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
