Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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