yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
