carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
