I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
