I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
