I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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