yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
