Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
