I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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