Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think i got beer on your cat.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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