don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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