Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
