So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
