Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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