Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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