is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
