awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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