y did u give ur computer a hand job?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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