i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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