a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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