I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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