youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
