I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
