Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
