Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
