Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
