u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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