Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
