when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
