how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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