I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
