My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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