I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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