I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
