Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
