i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
