i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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