He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Found your dick twin last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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