Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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