nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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