I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
